Ruth showed up for her consultation in the standard Bellingham Saturday uniform. I must say that the red of her fleece was perfect for her, blue-based and bright, not a muddy washed out orangey red, her jeans fit her perfectly and her Keenes were actually cute and completely appropriate for the wet and cold, so I couldn’t be too critical. (Still though, zzzzz…)

We discovered that Ruth is a summer in coloring with silver white hair, ice-blue eyes and pink undertones in her skin. And hiding under that fleece was a smoking hot, long-waist hourglass figure. The difference between a classic hourglass and a long-waist one is, obviously, the length of torso. Classic hourglasses are always short-waisted. Structured tops and jackets are required to define the narrow waist otherwise the breasts appear to sit directly atop the hips. The long-waist hourglass figure is a stretched out version with more real estate available. The waist is easier to define and they have more options for clothing types and belts, etc. Read more …

Meet Sarah:  50-something, vivacious, outgoing, friendly and funny.  And looking for work, as so many are.

Sarah came to me with a clear need:  to look modern, current and professional while job-hunting.  We met at Labels, where I had prepared for her consultation with garments designed to flatter her hourglass figure.  Just as I was about to deliver my reassurances designed to calm the nerves associated with changing clothes in front of a stranger, I turned around and Sarah had whipped her clothes off and was ready to get started. As a self-professed child of the 60s, she was just not shy.  Great!  We jumped right in.

Read more …

Have you ever searched Google images for something completely innocent and been given pictures of debauchery?  I am tempted to bleach my eyeballs after what I have just seen while seeking pictures for this column.  It was my intention to show you, with visual examples, how important proportion is when choosing shoes.

Words shall have to suffice.

Let’s talk about my sisters.  In shape, they could not be more different.  One (let’s call her Sue) is a teeny-tiny bony little thing.  Her limbs are slender, her frame is narrow; she is just very petite, with no thickness about her.  The other one (let’s call her Kay) is also very small, but with shape:  her bottom half is larger than her top half, sporting a stunningly feminine booty and thigh curve.   She has a perfect bust, too, and a tiny waist.   They are both about 5’3.

Sue and Kay cannot wear the same shoes and here’s why:

Sue looks great in ballet flats, slender sandals and strappy, delicate heels.   These shoes are in proportion to her frame.  There is no jarring difference between her leg line and the shoe; it flows.  The delicate shoe structure also corresponds to the types of clothing that suit her body, such as soft, flowy fabrics and slender silhouettes.  She used to wear these clunky loafer things that looked exactly like baked potatoes.  I always wanted to slap a dollop of sour cream on those babies.  The loafers didn’t work because they were too thick for her foot and leg, and thus, the rest of her.   Disproportion interrupts.  She is probably mad now (sorry, Sue).

Kay wears chunky heels, usually with some platform, and wedge sandals.  Slightly thicker heels are in keeping with her leg line.  The heel gets her heel up off the floor, lengthening the leg.  A flat of any kind would widen her beam.  The A-line skirts and wider leg pants that fit her so well would swallow up any kind of delicate shoe.  Kay’s footwear has got to stand up to the clothing, not disappear beneath it, as well as support her frame.

• When choosing shoes, consider your overall frame, the size of your rear and the thickness of your legs.

• Women of stature need sturdy shoes.  If your weight flattens out your shoe and breaks down the sides, you need sturdier footwear.

• Kitten heels are for skinny women.

• Thick-bodied women look great in curvy, feminine peep-toes.

• Worn-out shoes go in the garbage!

NEVER ask your computer to show you a picture of a large rear in skinny heels.

The invitations are starting to trickle in; those parties you look forward to every year and those you will be darn sure to skip.  Before reaching into the back of the closet for the same old LBD, just stop yourself.  Is this the best we can do?  Is this the most fun we can have?  Have we completely thrown in the towel?

There are so many ways to look absolutely smashing for holiday festivities, but in order to pull it off we must start with the basics of shape.  Despite the fact that we are all unique, there are just two categories of female body shapes:  proportionate and disproportionate.

If you wear the same size shirt as pants, you are proportionate.  The proportionate shapes are the column (not curvy) and the hourglass  (curvy).

Disproportionate shapes either have a bigger top than bottom (apple), or smaller top and bigger bottom (pear).

The first step to looking and feeling amazing is to know what shape you are and dress your figure accordingly.  This is not difficult to figure out, but one must strive for objectivity.  Some assistance might be required, either in the form of a friend who won’t lie to you or a bottle of good red.  Or both.

If you are a column, straight and lean, the rule is to accentuate your waistline to create curve, simply done with a belt or formfitting garments.  Knock yourself out with layers, accessories and wild pants.  The rest of us will embrace the spirit of the season and not resent you for your ease.  We understand that you probably have other difficulties in life such as dire character flaws or an ugly child.

Now for the hourglass, the perfect female form: the same size top and bottom with a Betty Boop waist tucked in between.  Here’s the truth: curves need structure.  Any garment with a sharply defined waistline will lengthen out the torso and separate the breasts from the hips.  It’s the fastest 20 lbs you will ever lose.  Show those curves with structured tops and dresses, beautiful knits and pencil skirts.

For the autumnal fruits of disproportion, apples and pears, the balancing strategy is simple:  streamline the larger half while drawing the eye to the smaller.

For the apple, minimize the bust and middle with open necklines and empire waists.  The smallest part of the apples’ torso is right underneath the bustline, therefore a skookum bra is in order.  So we can see it, don’t you know.  Draw the eye down with boot-cut trousers and flared skirts, garments that snugly fit the hip and thigh creating curve where there isn’t any.  Hemline volume at the knee or ankle helps to create overall balance.  A mid-rise, wide waistband is necessary to avoid muffin-top.  We must all fit our largest parts first and alter from there, so find a friendly tailor.

At last, for the ripe and juicy pear: volume up and streamline down.  Formfitting tops, jackets, vests, scarves, bling, color and pattern all draw the eye up.  High necklines and ruffle-front blouses amp up the boobage.  Wide leg pants and A-line skirts define the top of the hip curve, then skim over the lower hip curve.  That’s the key:  do not define the saddlebags.  Let those be your little secret.  In the same way that skinny pants make bottoms look larger, wide leg pants make bottoms look smaller.

Put all that information through your pea pod and let’s move on to the incorporation of FUN.

-For a dress: jewel tones, embellishments or prints.  The louder the dress is, the quieter every thing else should be.  When wearing a purple satin trench coat as a dress, for example, the belt, hosiery and shoes need to be black and the jewelry simple and bold.

-Try a slim skirt with a cleavage-rocking, drop-dead silk blouse or fur-collared sweater, killer heels and glamorously outrageous earrings.  Don’t skip on the undergarments.  The right bra is required to achieve the perfect allure and shapewear if the skirt is, ahem, unforgiving.

-Wear vintage.  Accessorize with modern jewelry, belt and shoes for eclectic funk.  Don’t be afraid to give vintage garments new life with alterations.  If you aren’t sure what needs to be done to make it work, ask a tailor.  This Chinese-inspired dress has had the cap sleeves and Nehru collar taken off.

Add modern accessories to avoid overdoing it.

-Consider a statement piece, something too wild to wear every day.  Keep the rest of the outfit quiet to let it be heard.  Brocade pants (not for the thick-thighed or heavily-bottomed), Target t-shirt and cardigan.

And then, please, enjoy yourself.  What an amazing gift, that your company is desired and what better way to give thanks and bring cheer than to show up looking ready to rock the house.

Happy Holidays!

Watch for this article in the Dec/Jan edition of Bellingham Alive magazine.

That winter-is-coming chill is in the air and it is time to dig out the perfect accessory:  scarves!   The right scarf is the fastest way to jazz up any outfit and stay warm at the same time.   When done well, the effect is stylish and well put together but the attempt leaves many feeling slightly stupid, because it just should not be that difficult to wrap a piece of fabric around your neck.  But it is.  In an effort to save the day, Shawna and I made a short how-to video (courtesy of ENW with Deb Slater).  Please follow the link to see a few of our favorite tricks for scarf tying:

Scarf Scenarios

There are a few things to keep in mind when purchasing scarves, either for yourself or as gifts.  Proportion and color are absolutely key when choosing a scarf.  The right color is necessary because this is a garment whose color will reflect directly upon your face, therefore it MUST be in a color that is flattering to your skin tone. There is no faking it when the color is right under your chin.  If you don’t know what your colors are, you better call me or pick up the latest edition of Color Me Beautiful and figure it out.  You need to know.

Proper proportion is also important to create balance in your overall silhouette.   A medium sized person can get away with just about anything, but not those who are outside of that narrow range.  For instance, if you are an apple shaped woman with a large bust and pile a big, puffy scarf on top of those girls you will effectively turn yourself into Mt. Mama.  Conversely, if you are a petite little thing in a huge pashima you will look like you’re drowning in it.  The busty apple and the very petite both need less volume, but for different reasons.   You’ll see in the video that Shawna gravitates toward the more complex knots.  This is because, at 5’9, she has a lot of upper body real estate to layer with enormous scarves and enough neck to carry them.  Also, the creativity of it fits her personality.  I am 5’1 and stick to the super simple, not only because I am short but because that is what I prefer.  Scarf proprtion isn’t as critical as wearing the right pants, but just think about it.

Scarves are the perfect girlfriend gift, relatively inexpensive and always welcome.  Check for them at consignment shops, too.  There is usually a rack or basket tucked away in a corner somewhere and one can almost always score a great one for less than $5.

Warm necks for all!  WooHoo!

This is the last of our Autumn Trends How-To series wherein we will explore how to dress seriously and simply without boring ourselves to death.   This week is most certainly the flip-side of last week, which was over-stimulating.  Half of my closet is menswear because I share that space with my husband but wearing his clothes is not what the menswear trend is all about.   Let’s get right to it…

Menswear ingredients:

A suit, of course

Hats

Briefcase or structured leather bag

Brogues or loafers

Anything with pinstripes

Chunky watches

Horn-rimmed glasses, if you really want to play it up

I dug into my half of the closet and came up with one suit.  Clearly, androgyny is not my thing.  How can we make this cute?  Perhaps menswear can be fun, like playing a little game.   A suit is a great resource for making multiple outfits but wearing it all together can come off as a bit stodgy and “banker-ish.”  No offense to you bankers out there. However, for the menswear look, you gotta wear the whole thing at once.  Throw in a feminine detail such as this ruffled silk blouse to keep the look soft.   Skip dangly, jangly jewelry; use simple hoops or a cuff, or none at all.  You don’t have to soften it up-if you prefer to really go for it, wear a button-down shirt or a turtleneck and  thick-soled shoes with it. I sure as heck don’t have any manly shoes, so went for a sculptural heel instead.  A leather briefcase is a nice touch.  I‘ve got a pinstriped fedora and a mustache, too, if I’m not careful.

Minimalism:     This is a favorite look of mine – simplicity at its best.  Dramatic black and white, citified and sleek, no girly stuff.  This look is a power play, using stripped down femininity as an assertion.  Don’t go so simple with it that you end up looking plain or dour.   It’s not about just wearing black and white but about creating an air of borderline severity and unfussiness with touches of drama and beauty of design.  There is nothing playful or whimsical going on here.  Ride the wave of quiet power and sensuality otherwise known as:  You know you want me, but I hadn’t noticed.

THE DON’Ts:

No embellishments, sequins, beads, ruffles or other forms of hoo-ha

Very limited color and print

No pink

No ruffles, lace or bows

THE DOs:

Simple, elegant, perfectly tailored garments in neutral colors

Bold, simple jewelry

Serious shoes

Touches of leather

Skookum fabric

Polished, minimal makeup, flawless skin, sleek hair

Outfit #1:  This gray dress is made with hefty fabric and such artful seaming that it holds its shape even while on the hanger.  It has a built-in hourglass structure that looks simple but, oh boy, put a body in that thing and men fall weeping to their knees in it’s wake.  Okay, I’ve never actually gotten that reaction, but I feel like I should when I’m wearing it.

Even the back has a built-in waist.  This draws attention to the waistline and UP AND AWAY from the butt.  Brilliant!

Outfit #2:  Brown sheath dress with a navy turtleneck.  The chocolate brown dress is Tahari ($6 at Value Village) and designed to fit the body perfectly.  It is close-fitting without being tight.  A simple stretchy navy turtleneck underneath provides a subtle, neutral color combination that is a nice change from black, white and gray -  the color scheme that dominates this trend.  Brown tights and shoes create a monochromatic leg line that slims and lengthens.

Outfit #3:  Plain white tank under a dramatic vest, fake Gucci purse, wide-leg black pants and ankle-breakers.

Choose unfussy, sculptural jewelry for touches of drama.

Here’s the Vibe:

No one heard you coming… you entered the room and a hush fell over the crowd.  Everyone wondered, “Who IS that?”  The crowd parted as you glided through the room.  No one would dare challenge you to an arm-wrestling match because you would win with just a glance that would leave their arm dangling and weak.

It’s Week 3 of Autumn Trend How-To and next up is out-of-the box print mixes. If perhaps, you were under the impression that basic print mixing is out of the box enough thank you very much, hold on to your leopard print panties because this look isn’t for everyone.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. For those just tuning in:  we are exploring current style trends and interpreting them for real life without spending any cash.  All outfits seen here were gleaned from my consignment/thrift store wardrobe.  We are doing this because it’s fun but also to prove that it is possible to be current and creative without giving in to overly consumerific societal pressures.  This process is a lot like making a meal from whatever is left in the cupboard the day before payday.  Sometimes those are the best meals, right?  Because you have to get creative, that’s why.  It’s easy to buy an outfit off of a mannequin.  Duh.

Okay, back to the task at hand.

Basic print mixing rules:

1.  Pick a simple color palette of two or three colors, at least one being a neutral.

2.  One print must be subtle.

3.  The other print must be bold.

Forget all of that, we’re moving on.

Crazy Wild Mixes are an artful blend of color, texture and print that defy rules.  We are supposed to deconstruct this trend to make sense of it but, honestly, I found that a bit difficult to do this time.  The noggin needed a jab with a hot poker just to start trying combinations, until eventually it began to make sense.   I found that either sticking to a color palette or a TONAL palette and a pattern palette worked.  For instance, fabrics with colors that like each other and patterns that didn’t argue out loud seemed to blend in an interesting way when layered.  Hmmm.

Outfit #1:  My friend Margaret gets credit for this idea:  black and white polka dots with leopard print. The patterns are not dissimilar and all of the colors involved are neutrals which created a harmonious blend. Mustard gold tights and patent leather purse for extra spice; red accents work well also.

Outfit #2:  Casual and funky; this combination follows the basic rules with a subtly striped turtleneck and a bold floral skirt.  Things get more interesting with the addition of a silver cardigan, teal purse & necklace and navy boots.  They all go, but would not be automatic choices.  Nothing stands out screaming, “Look at me!” like a toddler on the trampoline.

Outfit #3:  Positively chic to my eye:  checked black/gray slacks with a sheen, tweed navy, cream and black jacket thing, purple turtleneck, color block bag with navy, green, silver & wine-also with a sheen and wine suede shoes.

Take a closer look at the pattern blend:

Outfit #4:  I am wearing this one to work the next time it rains (that will be tomorrow): sheer paisley blouse, suede-ish paisley skirt, red suede bag and brown leather boots, topped with a sparkly black shrug.  The patterns play off of each other, the browns in the skirt pick up the brown in the blouse, the shrug picks up the black in the skirt and they all lived happily ever after.

Outfit #5:  This skirt used to scare me.  Usually it gets paired with a black or gray t-shirt and sweater because it’s GOLD BROCADE with a RUFFLE and SILVER ROSES.  Good grief.  This sheer blouse of many beautiful colors and swirly floral pattern seems to work with it.  The wine cardigan tones things down a bit, as do the brown clutch and navy tights.  The pewter sky-high heels don’t, though.  They pick up where the skirt left off.

A word of warning if you try this at home:  if you feel like the crazy cat lady in your outfit, you won’t wear it with confidence thus defeating the whole purpose. We’re going for an artful blend here not “I Gotta Be Me” sung from the rooftops.  If you try it, please send me a picture.

Last week’s project continues, wherein I delve deep into the recesses of my closet in search of garments with which to interpret current fall trends without spending a dime.  For further explanation on why we’re doing this, please read “Autumn Trends How-To:  Camel & Gray” posted last week.  Same story.

This week, it’s The Ladylike Silhouette:  tight sweaters, poodle skirts and prim dresses of the past are reinvented with unexpected textures, colors and edginess.  Think June Cleaver with cajones.

The first step is to deconstruct the trend:

Full skirts

Textured, form fitting sweaters

Heels

Top-handle bags

Skinny or ribbon belts

Bows

Beehives.  Really.

Well, I don’t really like bows and have very short hair so we can scratch off Bows & Beehives right off the bat.  The other stuff I have by the jillion.  This photo-shoot could have gone on for six days because almost everything in my closet fits this bill.  A-line skirts with form-fitting tops are my go-to shape, being somewhat pear-ish.  Finally I just had to stop making outfits.

These are shapes almost anyone can wear, pear-ish or not.  If you are on the short side, keep that hemline barely below the knee, don’t try going to mid-calf with it.  If you are on the busty side, keep your knits thin, not too chunky or heavily textured. If you are thick through the middle, skip the belts and choose flared or fluted skirts, not full volume.   If you are wider through the hips, keep the skirt volume minimal and avoid skinny heels.  If you are really curvy, ditch the full skirt completely and go with a pencil skirt.

The strategies for keeping this look current and not chastity-belt 1950:  Throw in something with a tough edge such as rebellious shoes, wild prints, crazy textures and loud colors.  The shapes are the key and within those parameters, anything goes.

Here are the first four outfits I came up with:

Outfit#1:  purple cotton flared skirt, black turtleneck sweater, black and white polka dot scarf for belt, yellow top-handle purse, red buckle shoes.

Things are kept pleasingly off-kilter by the color mix of purple, red, black and yellow, the fabric mix of heavy knit and cotton and the pop of pattern in the scarf.   Socks that hit just above the ankle are an addition to this look in the fashion rags.  Don’t do it.

Outfit #2:  teal wool circle skirt, leopard sweater, gray faux-fur scarf, pink purse and wild shoes for edginess.  Same rules apply: mix the textures and colors, don’t play it safe or you really will channel Mrs. Cleaver.  The vibe is reminiscent of primness but full-blown funky-fun.

These little wrap-around furry scarves are so easy to wear and really do keep your neck warm.

Outfit #3:  Oh, this dress!  So comfortable, so sexy, so simple:  geometric red circles on black with a built in wrap-around belt.  That perky collar opens up the neckline, making a perfect display for this vintage choker.  All from Labels, even the choker.

It takes 2 seconds to put a dress on and they are so cheap at consignment and thrift stores-I guess because people don’t wear them.  WHY NOT?  Pair them with tights and boots when it’s chilly and wear ‘em all year.  Okay, then you might need 2 minutes to get into the tights and then you need a slip and the Static-Guard which has disappeared and then you’re grumpy and just want to pull out the black pants.  Still, it’s worth it to feel that sexy all day long once in awhile.  BTW I have worn this black and red dress with pink jewelry and it rocked.  Didn’t take a picture, though.

Outfit #4:  brown wool circle skirt, velvet Betsey Johnson leopard print tank, Cynthia Rowley woven leather bag and faux-fur collared cardigan with faceted shiny buttons, all from Labels except the cardigan which someone gave me.  Any shoes can work with this combination:  black, brown, tan, or RED OR PURPLE.  Or blue.  You name it.  The outfit of subdued excitement.

If you have an hourglass figure and own PENCIL SKIRTS (as you darn well should), wear them with a demure bow blouse and killer stilettos.  Make a martini and watch Mad Men.  Dream of Don Draper…

If you have an apple figure, go with a flared or fluted skirt and an ever-so-slightly blousey top.  Avoid the very form-fitting or heavily textured knits and stick with light knits and a soft waistline.  It’s a little more of a challenge to get the proportions correct but it can be done.  Think soft blouse and flippy little skirt with a killer heel.

Make sure to wear this look with attitude-you don’t want anyone assuming you are there to get coffee!

Next week:  crazy wild print mixes or minimalism, whichever comes first.

A few hot autumn trends have popped out at me from the pages of the much-lauded September Issues as being extremely normal-woman friendly and frankly, I am very excited about them.  This is big news because usually I toss these magazines aside in disgust and wonder who really cares, who has that kind of money and who can wear clothes that shiny/skinny/tight/sheer/ridiculous, etc.  Ah, but I have learned a thing or two, the first one being that trends and high fashion are there to be interpreted, not taken literally.  Thing two is that I probably have some stuff in my closet with which to interpret whatever trend may have caught my eye.

Over the course of the coming weeks we are going to tackle a few current styles that are easy to wear and refreshingly pretty.  Firstly, we’ll deconstruct the trend and examine its parts, then delve into the closet to find those pieces.  No money shall be spent.  It is key to remember that no matter what trend you decide to take on, the garments must always flatter your figure.  If it is impossible to wear a trend and flatter your figure at the same time (think skinny jeans), then SKIP THAT ONE!  Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to shout.

Let’s begin:

Favorite Trend #1:  Camel and Gray

For starters, camel and gray are just colors, and hey, anyone can wear those.  If you look good in warm tones, wear the camel by your face.  If you look good in cool tones, wear the gray by your face.  Easy-peezy.  Of course, we’re going to break that rule almost immediately.  I’ll show you how in a minute.

Let’s discuss.  These are quiet, sophisticated colors.  No one is suggesting you wear ancient khaki pants and a gray t-shirt and call it couture.  To really pull off the look, the fabrics need to be somewhat luxurious in look and feel, such as wool, silk, leather and cashmere.  Faux-luxury fabrics work, too, they just need to look convincing.

The bow blouse is a popular item this year, as are wide-leg, flowing trousers.  This is GREAT news for pears since the bow builds up the bust and the wide-leg skims over the booty.  Still, just about anyone can wear these shapes.  If you are busty, keep the bow small and simple.  If you are very petite or very large, limit the volume of the trousers.

This Italian knit sweater feels like heaven ($7 Value Village), paired with a simple, inverted-pleat gray skirt and some black boots that didn’t make it into the picture.

This sweater is a terrible color on me so I must always create a color barrier with a scarf or necklace when I wear it.  That’s the way to wear a color that is not so good on you and thus avoid those big black under-eye circles that make it look like Edward visited in the night.  By the way, only “winters” look great in black next to their face.  Your color barrier needs to be one of  YOUR best colors!

Gray pants, perfect for work (Kohl’s clearance rack $14)  and a stretchy, knit sweater-jacket thingy from Labels.  It has the coolest buttons and exposed zipper around the collar.  Again, the colors are warm, so the black turtleneck goes underneath to keep that hideous warmth away from my winter face.  You might notice the disparate sleeve length-don’t worry, its okay to do that.  Both sleeves are stretchy, so just shove ‘em up.  Or not.

Black, teal and wine are excellent accent colors for the camel/gray duo:

Up next:  June Cleaver, updated